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Why hump a pillow, when you can hump a friend?

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Are you saying you’d like to hump ME?800-356-6169

I had the most hilarious call last week from a humiliation slut humper boy. He’d read about me making sluts hump pillows, and he said he had to call.

(Too busy humping your pillow pet? Click here to listen!)

The only thing was, he didn’t . . . → Read More: Why hump a pillow, when you can hump a friend?

Getting Sticky, Messy, and Dirty On Cam With Sploshing Food Play!

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Right around the time I first started working with LDW, I dated a guy with a very dirty, sticky secret: he was a splosher!

(Too sticky to read? Click here to listen!)

A splosher is a person who gets an erotic thrill playing with food–the stickier, creamier, . . . → Read More: Getting Sticky, Messy, and Dirty On Cam With Sploshing Food Play!

Stick Your Dick Someplace New: Blow The Cobwebs Out Of Your Masturbation

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Where have you been sticking your dick lately? Don’t you think it’s time to shakeup your jerk off routine?

Remember when you were a certain age, when everything you saw was a potential place to stick your dick? What was the craziest place you jerked your weiner–what was the wildest . . . → Read More: Stick Your Dick Someplace New: Blow The Cobwebs Out Of Your Masturbation

Coerced Orgasms Are The New Denial!

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Well, maybe not exactly, but I DO love to  yank  those orgasms right out of you, and keep them coming (cumming)!

(If you’re too busy having multiple orgasms to read, just click here to listen!)

Of course what ends up happening is that after you have that initial . . . → Read More: Coerced Orgasms Are The New Denial!

YES, you’ve been waiting for it–Dirty Santa Stocking Stuffer #5

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Some Inspiration (as if you need it!)800-356-6169

I’m going to give a very grateful shout out to one of my most loyal and eager to serve pets Joe, who has stepped up and made sure all of you have plenty of spank bank stocking stuffers this season.

He has a sexy little guided . . . → Read More: YES, you’ve been waiting for it–Dirty Santa Stocking Stuffer #5

Training For Premature Ejaculators: Keep Your Pistol From Popping Too Soon

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Premature Ejaculators. *Sigh* All you can really do with these losers is sigh because they are so frustrating.

(click here to listen to me read this post to you!)

Look, unless you just discovered your dick and just started masturbating last week, you don’t have any . . . → Read More: Training For Premature Ejaculators: Keep Your Pistol From Popping Too Soon

Humping Humiliation Makes Me Laugh

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I never thought I’d see the day that watching a man jerk off would become commonplace. It used to be quite novel to see a man stroke himself to orgasm, but now it takes more to amuse me.

(If you’re too busy humping to read, click here to . . . → Read More: Humping Humiliation Makes Me Laugh

It’s Masturbation May–Valentine’s Day For Your Hand

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Surely You Can’t Say No!800-356-6169

Not that you asked, but my favorite holiday–whether I’m single or with someone–is Valentine’s day.

Now, I know most of you probably don’t care for V-day. It probably provokes more anxiety than anything. I’m sure you MUCH prefer March 14, or Steak and Blowjob Day!

I’m sure it . . . → Read More: It’s Masturbation May–Valentine’s Day For Your Hand

Jack-O-Lantern Blowjob

Hmmm….just round off these holes a little, and stick your cock right in!

So tell me. Do you ever drive down the roads in your neighborhood this time of year, passing all of those glowing pumpkins on the porches and think…..

Hmmm….I could really use a Jack-o-lantern blow job!

Well, you may think . . . → Read More: Jack-O-Lantern Blowjob

The Ice Dildo Challenge

Need an icy treat for the summer heat?

So everyone has a challenge these days: Running Man, Ice Bucket, Cinnamon….I decided I needed to issue a challenge to my slaves and pets: The Ice Dildo Challenge!

(click here and I’ll read this post to you in my sexy voice)

It’s simple really. All . . . → Read More: The Ice Dildo Challenge