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Training For Premature Ejaculators: Keep Your Pistol From Popping Too Soon

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Premature Ejaculators. *Sigh* All you can really do with these losers is sigh because they are so frustrating.

(click here to listen to me read this post to you!)

Look, unless you just discovered your dick and just started masturbating last week, you don’t have any excuse under the sun to be spooging too soon. Most of you are men either solidly in middle age or closing in on it mighty fast. You’ve had plenty of time to get that ding a ling under control, and yet there it goes AGAIN.

If you can’t even last the goddamn 10 minute minimum for your calls, you really need to figure out how to rein in that unruly little lump of flesh. I mean, my word. You pay for 10 minutes, you should at least get 10 minutes.

But too many of you simply can’t even last 10 minutes on the phone with me. I say three dirty words and the next thing I know, you’re yelling in my ear!

So let’s work on that, shall we? We can save your dignity (and my eardrums) a lot of abuse if we help that weenis last a little longer.

I have a little training program for you to practice while you’re between calls. Spend some time working on this every day, and before you know it, you’ll be a big boy who controls his pee pee!

  1. First of all, you need to understand the value of delayed gratification. Say it with me: d e l a y e d   g r a t i f i c a t i o n. That means you postpone what you want right this second in favor of better rewards down the line.
  2. In order to help you understand delayed gratification, you’ll be spending 15 minutes a day slowly stroking your cock. Orgasm is not the goal of this stroking. In fact, you’re not even allowed to get close to cumming. If you get close, you immediately stop stroking until you calm down. If you’re still too excited to continue stroking, stop and come back to it later, when you’re not as excited. When you can do 15 minutes of slow stroking without feeling like you’re going to splash the walls, you’re ready for the next step.
  3. Edging. You will need to learn how to edge. Edging consists of stroking until you’re almost ready to cum, then stopping stimulation until you calm down. You resume stimulation when you feel you can stroke without blowing it (literally and figuratively). You’ll need to work up to 10 edges a day.

Once you’ve successfully completed this training, then your next step is to call me and show off your new skills! Your reward for being a good boy and getting your pee pee under control is knowing you’re finally a man and able to please me a little better.

Oh, and of course you’ll get a nice big orgasm at the end of your show and tell session. After all, you will have earned it! (I won’t even tease you and threaten to deny you!)

 

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