So, I had an interesting call the other day. A client filled out a pre call form and told me a little about himself–which is a wonderful thing to do before I speak with you for the first time!
He sounded like a lot of fun, and I looked forward to talking with him. I won’t go into all of his details, but he did say he was a loser, had a small penis, and wanted extreme verbal humiliation. From the words he used, I understood that I’d be making the rules.
Imagine my surprise when he began telling me all the things that turned him on. I informed him that he’d have to earn those things that make him most excited, and he was my little loser bitch now. Wow, that was the wrong move! He and I struggled through the call until he finally told me he didn’t think we were a good match.
After we hung up, I got to thinking about where we went wrong. How did I miss his cues? I obviously misunderstood him, right?
Maybe–or maybe he thought extreme verbal humiliation was something other than what I understood it to be. Maybe he wanted more name calling and less mindfucking–which, by the way, isn’t really something I’m all that good at. To sit back and call you names without knowing why I’m calling you loser, or faggot, or cunt face pin dick, well that’s about as boring as watching paint dry.
I always want to know all the details of your shortcomings! It’s just the way I’m wired.
That call did prompt me to take a little time out to share a teachable moment with you, and here it is: be very clear when you’re filling out pre-call questionnaires and do your homework on your Mistress. Don’t go by how a Mistress looks, actually read her blog. Finally, if the call isn’t going the way you’d like it to go, say something. All you have to say is, “I’d really like it if we could change the direction. Do you mind if we….?”
Believe it or not, I want you have an enjoyable call almost as much as you do!