Personally, most of my pets, slaves, and callers don’t particularly need a month to celebrate masturbation. Everyday is Masturbation Day, amiright?

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But this is a time of the year to examine what you’ve been doing to get your rocks off and maybe come up with a new way to hit a homer with yourself. (For all of you sissies out there, that was a sports reference–you know, men in tight pants sliding into home kind of thing. Go ahead and squeal–and twirl!)

So I know just a jingle of the dingle in the shower is for many of you as part of your routine as washing your hair, but is that all there is to (masturbation) life? Of course not! I encourage you to think about what you’re doing now and do something to change it up. Start simple and go from there.

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For instance, do you use lube? If not, maybe a little squirt might make it all so much smoother. If you need that extra grease already, maybe squirt that lube in a baggie and stroke with that.

Maybe you want to heat your lube a little before you slide your dick in that slippery little sack. Just don’t go overboard with the heat (unless you want to experiment with pain–in which case PLEASE let me hurt you!)

Maybe you should toy around with humiliation. If you’ve never done that, maybe go easy with it and hump a pillow or pie while you’re on the phone with me.

No matter what you do this month, I say you have some fun with your Mistress and make some memories with me that you can keep in your spank bank for long after Masturbation May is over!